The Drink Your Dinner Gang: January 2006

It Can Go 6

Commercials...

Specifically Ads for Anything
That Can Be Bought at a Drug Store.
If You Have Herpes,
Erectile Dysfuntion,
Menstrual Cramps,
Yeast Infection,
Heart Burn,
etc.
No One Cares.
Ask Your Physician;
Not Your TV
or the Side of a Bus.

'Nuff Said.

New Slogans:
Valtrex - For Happier Herpes.
Valtrex - Don't Spread the Love.
Valtrex - You've Pulled. She's Dirty. Grab Your Coat and Run!

Valtrex - I'm Done with You. Next!

This Ad Disturbs Me.
Visions of His Junk.
I Guess It's Better Than Back Hair.
Ugh, Thank God There Are No Ads for That.

New Slogan:
Cialis - The Quicker-Thicker-Picker Upper

Here's the Grand Prize

Alka-Seltzer
"I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing."

This One Doesn't Disgust Me.
I Just Don't Care.
And Apparently...

It's Not Even Creatively Annoying.
Who Remakes a Commercial?
Whoever It Is...
Can Go.

New Slogan:
Alka-seltzer - Why Were You Even Eating at Hardee's?

Who Would You Rather 7

Gay-Cowboy-Ride-into-the-Sunset Edition




Heath Ledger	Or	Jake Gyllenhaal?

It Can Go 5

It Can Go...

A Continued Attack on Rednecks!

You Call That Food!?

Just Because It's Edible
Doesn't Mean It Should Be Eaten

I'm Not a Vegetarian
By Any Means,
But I've Never Been So Hungry
That I Thought I Needed to Squeeze a Farm-load of Animals
onto a Bun.

Pfh! I Can't Do This Anymore.
I Have to Go Take Some Blood Thinners.
Hardee's, Have a Heart Attack, Already!

Who Would You Rather 6

Who Would You Rather...
The Fire-in-Jude's-Pants Dilemma


Sienna Miller (The Fiancee)	Or	Daisy Wright (The Nanny)?

Comprehensive Post

Providing Your Daily Suggested Serving of
All Major Vitamins and Nutrients Ain't Easy,
But I Think I Can Do It.

With the Help of this Guy.

OK. So, Now That You're Done Vomiting,
Feel Sad for This Guy.
He Will Never Find Someone to Love Him.
That Being Said, It's Game Time.

Who Would You Rather...
An If-the-Trailer-Is-Rockin'-It's-Already-Too-Late Conundrum


A Redneck with a Mullet	Or	A Redneck with a Hairy Back?

Which Brings Me to...

It Can Go...

Rednecks, Please Leave.
Take Your Abominable Hairstyles,
Your Crummy Excuses for "Sports" (Read: NASCAR and Hunting/Fishing),
And Whatever Teeth You Have Left
And Flee...
Seriously, Am-scray.
Dude, Leave.
Don't Make Me Take This to Judge Judy.
Oh, Great, Now You Have a Boner.

Follow-up:
Skorts...

You Are the Mullets of the Fashion World

Business in the Front; Party in the Back

You Can Go.

And Finally,

A Search for Bad Jokes about Mullets Left Me Empty-handed.
So Just Laugh at Them for the Joke That They Are.

It Can Go 3

Usher...

You're about as famous as Paris Hilton,
meaning your celebrity is fake.

In fact,

Paris Hilton...

You can go, too.

For real, you can go and die.

That would be hot.

Who Would You Rather 4

Whom Would You Rather...
Travel to Neverland with...


Michael Jackson	Or	Jason Isaacs (Captain Hook)?

Follow-up:
Who Would You Rather...
Singers-Make-Better-Sex-Offenders Edition


Michael Jackson	Or	Gary Glitter?

Who Would You Rather 3

Whom Would You Rather...
Be Stranded on a Deserted Island with...


Evangeline Lily	Or	Maggie Grace?

Bad Jokes 1

Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

A lady went into a butcher shop complaining about some hot dogs she had just bought. "The middle is meat," she exclaimed, "but the ends are sawdust!"

"Well," said the butcher, "these days it's hard to make ends meat."

Q. What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?

A. A woman who won't do what she's told.

A boy with down’s syndrome goes to the ice cream van and asks for an ice cream. The van driver asks, "What flavour would you like"?

The down’s-syndrome boy replies, "It doesn’t matter. I'm just going to drop it anyway."

Q. If a woman was hit by a motorcyclist, whose fault would it be?

A. The motorcyclist, of course! He should never have been riding his bike in the kitchen!